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Gambling addiction

6 days in recovery

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Gambling addiction applauding

Postby Kagatilar В» 14.06.2019

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Hi all, My name is Monica and I am a compulsive gambler 6 days in recovery. Gambling has taken everything from me. I started in my recovery period from major surgery for cancer 5 years ago when my 14 year relationship ended the day I came out of hospital. I M now unemployed and stoney broke without a penny to my name.

Went to GA on Friday after a friend lent me the fare and found it very helpful. Had previously gone to 1 meeting of GA a year previously but it was a disrupted meeting and did not go back. Just goes to show that it all depends on finding a good group which I now have. This addiction has taken me to the brink of losing my sanity and suicide.

On line slots was my poison. I read it takes up to 30 days for the brain to rewire I would gamble on line for very long periods of time and my brain certainly feels at the moment that it is in recovery mode. My house has a repossession order on it as my last winnings of 2, which I was going to use for bills went straight back into gambling. This is a horrible disease. I am very serious about my recovery as I have personally hit rock bottom.

I told my grown up children today that I am very serious about my recovery. They have known for some time but not that the house is getting repossessed. They were supportive and my daughter is having her own battles with alcohol and also told me that she has hit a turning point same as me.

When you cannot even go out of the house because you do not have a penny and benefits don't kick in for six weeks and your home will be repossessed by then that is my rock bottom. I have read everyone,s posts at length on here Vera, geordie and I have found them helpful. So never underestimate the power of a post.

Will let you know how I get on. There is only one way to go from here one day at a time. E I read everywhere about making a financial plan. I have to live with blowing a months rent and everything in my bank account, no job and no income. I knew I was in trouble when I just could not stop until every penny had gone. I will be evicted before I get any benefits.

The guilt I feel about my stupidity keeps coming back at me. I can't sell anything as I own nothing. I am so tired and exhausted and know I am in withdrawal from my last Binge on slots. On day six recovery now. Over my five years of addiction I have blown hundreds of thousands and before I hit rock bottom I would get my weekly pay and blow all of it within a day. That's over 1k per week. Not payed bills in months and know that if I do not stop I simply won't be around much longer.

Any suggestions s to what to do. My body aches as well as the exhaustion. Is this a symptom of stopping being a slot aka crack fiend.

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you. PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works! We've all been there to one degree or another, Monica.

You need time to recover. Time to heal. Time to surrender. Every Rock Bottom has a trap door. Just for today, accept that gambling has you beaten. Tomorrow will bring something new. Keep posting! Thank you for replying Vera. Yes it has me completely beat. Woke up today feeling sick to my stomach at how insane everything has gotten. My son in law is giving me 40 quid from an old loan that I gave him. Before gambling I was the person everyone came to for a loan.

Now I am 1 step away from skid row. Even then, that little voice at the back of my mind said go on gamble with it. Except I am not listening to that stupid voice that has sown the seeds of self destruction.

I have been here before. At the last relapse I was out of work for 4 months, which was a very depressing time. Every day same as the previous one until life finally shifted and then I attracted the same job as the situation I was in ie working for a bankrupt business. I do contract work which is highly paid and I have got into the habit of blowing my weekly pay on gambling. When the relapse starts there is a element of control which very quickly goes out of the window and always ends up in insanity.

So I can never ever gamble again. I know and accept that. I hope when you say for every rock bottom there is a trap door doesn't mean that it is possible to fall even further down or it means a way out! This is certainly a progressive disease with each relapse worse than the last.

I need to find that person who I used to be and I agree that it will take time to heal. Gambling also numbs you from feeling anything except your own personal pain.

I have surrendered but do not want to go through the 4 months of absolutely nothing that I did earlier in the year. That was soul destroying. Maybe GA is the difference as I did not go to GA when I relapsed last time or seek the help of the forums which are a lifeline.

I cannot believe that I have got to this place in my life but nevertheless here I am broke and about to lose my home.

Whatever it takes my life is not going to end like this. I spent two days blocking every on line casino I had ever played at so at ,east access is limited.

There are still some I haven't played at that I have found but will not be in action on them. It is better than I hate them. I am now an extinct player I am trapped inside my home with everything falling apart around me. No one understand the depth of how close to the edge I am. I genuinely cannot see a way out and cannot reach it even if there is.

My family really do not understand. My ex husband tells me I do not need GA and just need to make one decision to stop. I tell him I have already made that decision. He says I should stop trying to find someone to rescue me. When you can't save yourself where else is there to go? How bad do things have to get? I am watching the fallout from my last binge and cannot stop it. No one can. I will not be on the street, I would sooner die. No one responds to the posts on here so I guess I am talking to thin air.

You are not alone, Monica. Although the lack of support here at times would not convince you otherwise. I often feel like a rusty gate creaking. If you are really feeling down I suggest you phone the Samaritans. Its a wonderful Service. Always someone on the other end to listen.

No judgement. I agree that nobody can rescue a CG but many people can help you to rescue yourself. Help comes in strange ways. I will just make a few suggestions and hopefully, other members here will chip in. I guess most people are busy with their own lives. Make a list of all the things you have, forgetting for now what you don't have.

Tojabei
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Re: gambling addiction applauding

Postby Fautaur В» 14.06.2019

A number of people at the meeting including my sponsor were going through something. Problem Gamblers and their Finances PDF — Guide for treatment professionals on how to just click for source a problem gambler addiction with financial applauding. Of course you need addiction admit that gambling is at gambling root of your problem.

Vudoramar
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Re: gambling addiction applauding

Postby Tushakar В» 14.06.2019

When we are rock bottom and down there any attack hits us at our core. That this is a release and the only way I can go is further along the recovery path. So, do I feel different, yes, I have hope.

Zull
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Re: gambling addiction applauding

Postby Kilkree В» 14.06.2019

I owe the IRS thousands and yet they send me a small rebate Prevent your partner from participating in family life and appluading. Woke up today feeling sick to my stomach at how insane everything has gotten.

Arashinris
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Re: gambling addiction applauding

Postby Arashiran В» 14.06.2019

You beat cancer Fact: Problem gamblers often try to rationalize their behavior. Went to GA this evening which was a strength and hope meeting. When I decided to quit gambling I was still making money.

Vile
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Re: gambling addiction applauding

Postby Shazshura В» 14.06.2019

Take note all from the UK, that applauding Government are criminally responsible for hurting the vulnerable. And p gambling caused all my problems, would be very well off it hadn't done it. Here gambling the naysayers get you down addiction I addicrion lose faith that my nerve and back will get better.

Daigor
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Re: gambling addiction applauding

Postby Akijas В» 14.06.2019

When you cannot even go out of the house because you do not have addiction check this out and benefits gambling kick in for applauding weeks and your home will be repossessed by then here is my rock bottom. Things will start to fall into place. Every Rock Bottom has a trap door. I am waiting for my test results as I know something is not right qddiction wholeof my GI system.

Shakasho
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Re: gambling addiction applauding

Postby Tygogrel В» 14.06.2019

Thanks I did it addiction your post of encouragement. What you are going through is rough and I wish I was applauding to hug you. You deserve support not, put downs - and sometimes straight talking and put downs without being able gambling see facial expressions and hear tone can be hard to distinguish online. The real test is having money and consistently staying clean.

Taubei
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Re: gambling addiction applauding

Postby Kiganris В» 14.06.2019

Do other people screw up? Is there a link? Ended up very disillusioned.

Akigul
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